Let’s be honest. It’s not easy being a strong man in modern society. There’s an expectation to be the breadwinner, the romantic, the emotional supporter, the ideal father, and so on. If you had a perfect life, living up to all of these wouldn’t be such so hard. But the chances of having a perfect life are slim to none.
If you’re still reading this, a part of may you feel like you are alone on an island. You’re suppose to be the rock for everyone in your life. You’re the guy who fixes things for others like you wife, kids and parents. But who do you turn to when times get tough for you? Most likely no one. Strong men tend to keep their own challenges inside themselves without sharing it with others. As a result, you take on a burden that weak men don’t. The burden of taking on everyone’s expectations and problems, including your own. You end up sacrificing yourself and your own happiness for the happiness of others.
Why a Strong Man Takes on This Burden
I’ve coached men for over two decades and I’ve noticed a pattern as to why strong men take on this burden alone. Here’s a list of some of the explanations I’ve witnessed:
- You don’t want to look weak in front of others.
- There’s an expectation from society that strong men take on the burden alone.
- You feel that it’s going to build your character and strength.
- You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Sharing the burden isn’t going to make a difference anyways.
- You don’t want to burden others with your challenges.
- Your wife or partner can’t handle it so you have pick up the slack.
- Your suppose to be a good man and good men don’t break.
- Others aren’t as strong as you.
- You’re trying to teach your kids to be strong.
- You feel that if you can’t do it, what’s the point.
- It’s only temporary so it’s okay.
- You’re going to show others that you can do it.
- You don’t feel you have people in your life who you can trust.
The Challenge with Taking on the Burden
Being a strong man is important. There are way too many weak men out there who are not taking on what they should be. So consider yourself to be in the right category of men. The challenge is that you can only take on the burden for so long before you burn out.
Life isn’t just about sacrifice. You should be enjoying your life to the fullest. You deserve to be happy and have everything you desire. I’ve spoken to countless men who have wept in front of me only to pretend like everything is normal the next day. Sacrifice is normal extended sacrifice is not. Extended sacrifice leads to suffering.
What Does Being Strong Really Mean?
Being a strong man doesn’t mean that you bottle everything inside and don’t allow others to see how you really feel. Strong means that you take on the challenge the smart way. You know what to take on yourself, what to share and what not to take on. It’s not your responsibility to do it alone.
If you take on too much or do it alone for too long, your strength becomes a weakness. You’re operating with less than your full potential. What ends up happening is that your burdens end up impacting your focus, decision making ability and energy. You’re not running on full batteries anymore. To get the most out of your life, you need to optimize all three of these. The strongest men I coach are those who are strong and smart!
What to do When You’re Burdened
If you feel that you have too much on your shoulders, here are your next steps:
- Accept your current situation and understand that it’s okay to feel this way.
- Understand that sacrifice should be temporary, not permanent. Suffering is not normal.
- Make a list of all the things you feel are on your shoulders.
- Find someone or a group to share this with (e.g. spouse, friends, mentors, men’s groups, professional coach)
- Identity what you should be taking on, what you shouldn’t and if someone else can share it with you.
- Identity a strategy to tackle each item on your list effectively.
- Hold others accountable for what they should be taking on.
- Always remember that being strong doesn’t mean doing it alone.
Be a strong man but also a smart man. When you need help, ask for it. Strong men know how to get what they want without suffering along the way.
All the best!
The Strategist For Businessmen