Before You Spend Another Minute With Someone, Ask Yourself These Questions

confused young man pondering all the choices before making a decision

The people you spend the most time with have a significant impact on your life. You’ve probably heard that your income will be the average of the five people in your closest circle. That may or may not be true. Just because someone you hang out with is rich, doesn’t mean you’re going to be rich as well. Just because someone is financially poor, doesn’t mean your income level will drop.

However, there are other important factors that are directly correlated with the people you hang out with and the amount of time you spend with them. These factors can improve or dramatically reduce your progress in business and impact your quality of life.

Over the years, I’ve decided to be extremely picky about whom I spend time with and how much time I give them. Some people I just can’t avoid, like certain family members. But I can choose to limit my exposure to them. Other people, I go out of my way to spend time with. Not because they make a lot of money, but because they provide some kind of positive value to my life. I’ve actually limited my exposure to wealthy people unless I truly enjoy their company. Money is easy to come by, quality people is much tougher.

Here’s how I determine whether I want to spend time with people. These are five questions you may want to ask yourself as well.

1. How do I feel when I’m around this person?

If you feel good when you around that person, great. If you don’t, then there’s a reason for it and it may or may not be worth exploring further. I’ve realized that there’s a lot of things about myself that I’ve needed to change over the years. Many of these have come from a direct result of my relationships with people who I didn’t enjoy being around. There was something inside me that needed changing, not them.

On the flip, there are people you just don’t enjoy being around for valid reasons. You do everything you can to be the best version of yourself, yet the interaction still isn’t pleasant. These are the people to avoid at all cost.

2. Does this person give me energy or drain my energy?

Energy is your most vital resource, even grater than time. Energy allows you to do the things you want to do and experience life to the fullest. If you don’t have the energy to fully enjoy the moment, the moment has gone to waste.

Your energy is constantly interacting with the energy of the people who surround you. They either give you energy or take energy away from you. Think of energy as currency and be wary of whom you exchange this currency with. Some people have positive energy, others have negative energy. You will absorb both!

3. Does this person challenge me to grow?

It sounds silly, but sometimes I spend time with extremely difficult people. For the simple reason of enhancing my personal skills such as communication, influence and emotional mastery. I will purposely enter difficult situations so that I can observe other people and their reactions to my actions. It’s become a game that I enjoy.

4. Do I learn something by being around this person?

The easiest way to learn something is from other people. There are so many interesting people out there who have a wealth of wisdom and experience you can tap in to. I absolutely love spending time these people. They change my perspective and I see things from a different lens. Thinking the same way gets boring, finding new ways to see life is where the true beauty is. Spend time with people you learn from.

5. Will this person’s life be better as a result?

Sometimes you must spend time with people who need you. That’s what life is about – giving to those in need. In our Sikh culture, the term “sewa” meaning “selfless service” is one of the two most important virtues. The other is “simran” which is similar to internal reflection. Giving to others is the easiest path to having a more fulfilling life. The only caution is if you’re constantly giving to others without recharging yourself. Every unit of energy you give out must also be replenished by doing something that gives you energy.

Human being are social animals. Our performance and quality of life is impacted by those we choose to surround ourselves with. Remember that you always have a choice so choose well. Having the right people in your life can make the world of a difference.

All the best,
Purdeep Sangha
The Strategist For Businessmen

P.S. Get your copy of my NEW book The Complete Man where you’ll discover how to perform at your highest potential, achieve your biggest goals and experience true fulfillment. Go to CompleteManBook.com or click here.

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